Laws of Driving in Mumbai

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Enough has been written about the driving skills (or lack thereof) of people in Mumbai (those in delhi are in a different league altogether, beyond description). This is my form of ranting about the same thing – better than road rage, right? usually I ignore most of the random behaviour but every once in a while, it can get to you. Hence this post.

Laws of Light

1. Headlights are to be used full beam on well lighted roads to blind oncoming traffic.
Corollary: if you own a black and yellow taxi, you will never use the headlights at anytime, as you fear getting a whopping bill from Reliance Energy.
2. Indicators are only to be used when parked in no-parking zones, as distress lights. You don’t need to use them to indicate which way you are turning.
3. Traffic will magically move faster if you keep flashing the car headlights at the vehicle which is 6 inches ahead of you.

Laws of Speed

1. The faster you change lanes, the faster you will reach your destination.
2. Bursting out of a small lane onto a main road at full speed will ensure all other cars are magically scattered away from you.
3. If you scrape past cars at full speed cutting from one lane to the next, you will become Superman.
4. If you have an SUV behind you, you will lose speed instantly. Because it will run you off the road.

Laws of Sound

1. Unless you start honking at the very instant a traffic light turns green, you will never reach your destination.
2. The longer you lean on the horn, the faster the car ahead of you will move, even in bumper to bumper traffic.

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  1. every one's frustrated….only thing i hate about this lovely city…traffic terrific.my most recent pacifier – a line – which i want to use at some kings of road who follow the laws above. I walk up to them, get them them to roll their windows down and ask – "is your dad's name Linking/Western Express?, then why are you driving like it is?!!":) 🙂

  2. hehehe anish, i wanna be there next time u do that, to see the response!

  3. oh, this is rib-tickling, for sure. i drive in mumbai and totally vote for the chaotic driving dementia at hyderabad. i believe even apocalypse won't convince hyderabadis to drive sensibly. good post, this.

  4. Actions speak louder than words. ........................................

  5. Great Post! We are also planning to trip to Bhutan this year.

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