Posts Tagged ‘ city singles ’

Single in the city

Single in the city

After Sex and The City and Bridget Jones’s diary, there’s been a buzz about life as a single woman. The idea of single womanhood is now much more glorified, commented on & written about than that of single men. What is it about single women that everyone is so curious about? It’s assumed that we have glamorous lifestyles, plenty of freedom and exciting affairs.

But yes, eternal questions like “do you have someone in your life?”, “you’ve been hanging out with him a lot off late, is something going on?”, “have you found someone yet?” never seem to stop. Somehow the search for that “someone” seems to be perceived as the defining experience of your life. Despite the newfound openness about single women, the acceptance of this breed and the enviousness of many married women who remember their earlier days, the question of that “someone” still commands attention.

On the one hand, people talk about how much fun your life must be, and on the other, offer to set you up, ask the inevitable question: “are you too choosy?” & then secretly assume that must be the case – why else would you be single? What’s exasperating is that people who were single a short while ago begin to ask that question as soon as they “change camps”.

Having been through the typical arranged marriage scenario of meeting “boys” and then the online matrimonial experience of email exchanges followed by coffee meets, I can say that I am choosy only about one thing: not having to make another uneasy conversation with a stranger about our likes, our hobbies, our favourite movie, book, song, colour, shampoo, toothpaste, blah blah blah. If I meet someone, get to know them and see something more permanent, am all for it. Otherwise, I am happy where I am, I love my career and I like being single. Yes, it’s hard sometimes.

Some weekends you sit in the house and suffer from bouts of wallowing. You wonder if you are meant to be alone, if you are, in fact, too choosy, if this is as good as it’s going to be, if you will regret this once that famous biological clock is done ticking. But that probably stops the moment you sit next to a wailing baby on a 2 hour plane journey!

And you think about the good life, about being able to travel at a moment’s notice, about a city that lets you be you, about never feeling like you can’t move around alone, and about not having to necessarily define yourself in terms of a relationship… and you think to yourself… yes, a deep relationship would be fantastic but there’s so much more to do and experience.

Life is not about being in the married or single category… it’s about being at peace with who you are.

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