Posts Tagged ‘ single women ’

travelling alone

last evening i attended a talk by Yossi Ghinsberg – for about an hour he spoke about his travels, his outlook on life, love for nature and of course his experience in the Bolivian Amazon where he was lost for nearly 3 weeks in completely uncharted territory. it was interesting to listen to a ‘motivational speaker’ – i have usually stayed away from such events previously i.e. those by motivational speakers. why? because i feel the best insights come from introspection and not from listening to someone else and trying to apply their views to your life. i went to this one specifically because he is a traveler and he was going to talk about his rainforest experience.

to be frank i didn’t know much about him until i got on invite from a website – holidayiq. they are planning to organise more such meets with travelers and that’s what really got me interested. he’s definitely a good story teller and he peppers the stories with his own insights. he spoke about traveling alone and how it’s the best thing because you make new friends, which you would never do if you were traveling with another person. that immediately struck home because of my last trip, which was not my first solo trip, but certainly the first where i made an effort to meet new people. it was so refreshing that i am quite hooked onto the solo travel concept.

of course, yossi ghinsberg spoke about many other things – his way of going to new places – he reads the lonely planet, and if a place is covered, he doesn’t go there. he wants to go to truly uncharted places. he lives in Byron Bay in Australia – inside the rainforest. his story of how he went to the Bolivian rainforest , his companions, his struggle for survival, was a gripping story with all the elements of a good story, suspense, drama, unexpected twists – and it was a pity that the organisers cut him short a little too soon. he was quite willing to continue. it was an inspiring story and of course made even better by the way he told it.

extreme and rugged nature of his travel may not be for everyone, but its certainly inspiring enough to make me want to travel more and continue to see the more “off-beat” places rather than the done to death tourist hot spots.

was thinking about all the various reactions from people on my Ladakh trip.

‘gutsy’ – nothing gutsy about it quite frankly, especially in the context of uncharted rainforests!
‘alone????’ – in utter and complete shock, complete disbelief that one would want to go alone on a holiday, and one person actually asked me the alone qs three more times in the same conversation and then went so far as to ask if i am married. when i said no, he said, oh that’s why, being married its really not possible to do this (a little regretfully)
‘but why?’ – and not quite understanding when i said i like to travel and the place is more important than who you go with
‘hats off to you! wish i could do that’ – this is mostly from other women who i don’t think would be able to travel alone

they need to listen to Yossi!

Girl Gangs & Scrabble Sessions

Was out with my girl gang this afternoon. I love how as women we can draw on so much from each other, feel so happy just hanging out with the girls, chatting, discussing everything from serious issues to mundane ones… fight over scrabble scores… and leave feeling like we’ve been in a therapeutic session. One of them is married, the other one engaged and the rest of us single (and some of us lovin’t it). So we can cover the whole gamut of what any woman can go thru, less than loving in-laws, strangely unloving parents, parents pressurising about marriage, not finding the right guy, biological clock ticking, being gloriously single… honestly who needs a sex and the city! Its right here in our lives, we are living it everyday.

But one common thread that’s always there… losing and putting on weight! Somehow, there can never be a conversation without that. If all of us women actually discussed a social issue all the time that we spent talking about weight, i think the world would be a better place. But women wouldn’t be women then.

I know someone who’s first comment is always about whether you have put on weight or lost weight… she’s your personal talking weighing scale and if you meet her often enough, you never have to worry about neglecting your body. She will make sure you always know! But she is rather sweet so i won’t dis her anymore.

Single in the city

Single in the city

After Sex and The City and Bridget Jones’s diary, there’s been a buzz about life as a single woman. The idea of single womanhood is now much more glorified, commented on & written about than that of single men. What is it about single women that everyone is so curious about? It’s assumed that we have glamorous lifestyles, plenty of freedom and exciting affairs.

But yes, eternal questions like “do you have someone in your life?”, “you’ve been hanging out with him a lot off late, is something going on?”, “have you found someone yet?” never seem to stop. Somehow the search for that “someone” seems to be perceived as the defining experience of your life. Despite the newfound openness about single women, the acceptance of this breed and the enviousness of many married women who remember their earlier days, the question of that “someone” still commands attention.

On the one hand, people talk about how much fun your life must be, and on the other, offer to set you up, ask the inevitable question: “are you too choosy?” & then secretly assume that must be the case – why else would you be single? What’s exasperating is that people who were single a short while ago begin to ask that question as soon as they “change camps”.

Having been through the typical arranged marriage scenario of meeting “boys” and then the online matrimonial experience of email exchanges followed by coffee meets, I can say that I am choosy only about one thing: not having to make another uneasy conversation with a stranger about our likes, our hobbies, our favourite movie, book, song, colour, shampoo, toothpaste, blah blah blah. If I meet someone, get to know them and see something more permanent, am all for it. Otherwise, I am happy where I am, I love my career and I like being single. Yes, it’s hard sometimes.

Some weekends you sit in the house and suffer from bouts of wallowing. You wonder if you are meant to be alone, if you are, in fact, too choosy, if this is as good as it’s going to be, if you will regret this once that famous biological clock is done ticking. But that probably stops the moment you sit next to a wailing baby on a 2 hour plane journey!

And you think about the good life, about being able to travel at a moment’s notice, about a city that lets you be you, about never feeling like you can’t move around alone, and about not having to necessarily define yourself in terms of a relationship… and you think to yourself… yes, a deep relationship would be fantastic but there’s so much more to do and experience.

Life is not about being in the married or single category… it’s about being at peace with who you are.

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